I have read and study many books that talk about relationships and one thing is for sure, relationships are hard work that require a lot of patience, understanding and tolerance.
Today I am focusing this article on intimate relationships, which in my opinion are the hardest – and everyone should learn how to make their relationship healthier and better.
In the beginning of every relationship, we are all excited, behave at our best and everything seem effortless-you want to spend as much time possible with your partner-but in the long run, things change.
Time will change things in any relationship but what you should do, is to make sure that time will change the relationship for better.
When You Are Starting a New Relationship is Important to:
Build: Build foundation. Every relationship should be founded in mutual respect and understanding. Know your boundaries and make sure you don’t ‘violet’ your partner’s space.
Explore: It is essential to explore your partner’s interest. You should focus and try to understand what makes your partner happy and what does not.
Establish: It took me awhile to learn this one. Whenever you make a mistake, don’t try to twist things around so you don’t have to apologize- instead say that you are sorry and make sure not to repeat it again. I know it is hard to say sorry, but if you want a healthy relationship that will last for more than three months, then saying ‘thank you’ and ‘I am sorry’ are the base for every relationship, not only love relationships.
Important Things to Recognize as Your Relationship Grows:
Relationships Change: It is inevitable; time will change your relationship and will change you as a couple also. You need to welcome the changes.
Check in Periodically: Most of us get lost in the rush of daily life. Going to work/school, following your hobbies, taking care of the kids and many other things that make life joyful -yet stressful at times-but setting all this aside and talking with your partner about difficult topics is what keeps a relationship going. If you don’t talk about difficult topics and try to find a solution as a couple, soon enough you will both drift apart.
What to Do When Conflict Arise:
I believe communication is the foundation of any successful relationship –and although it takes time to achieve a healthy and meaningful communication with your partner, it is not impossible. Talking freely with your partner is essential- not only for easy topics but hard topics also (such as family, love, marriage, sex and kids). The number one mistake most couples do is to forget the power of words! Instead of screaming and nagging learn to sit down and talk without raising your voice.
Understand Each Other Family Patterns: the family background is important when it comes to establishing a healthy relationship with your partner. In every family, conflicts are solved differently-therefore find out how problems were solved in your partner’s family and then talk to him of how things were solved in your family. Maybe you come from a family that wasn’t good at communication, while she/he comes from a family where they were very close to each other and would always talk about everything.
Establish an Atmosphere of Emotional Support: which means accept your partner’s differences and remember to yourself why you fall in love with him/her in the first place. Never enter an argument by attacking him/her! Instead approach the conflict with proves and strong arguments to why things are the way they are and what you both can do differently for things to be solved.
Discuss One Thing at a Time: I know it is very tempting to talk about all the problems at once but that will not help you solve any. Instead pick the topic based on priorities.
Really Listen: Being a good listener means: Don’t interrupt your partner when she/he talks! Make sure you understood properly what your partner had to say before giving your argument. Ask your partner about specific thing you might not have clear. It is better to ask, rather than add fuel to the fire.
Stop Trying to be Right: Would you rather be right or happy?
